There's been a lot of debate lately about the pros and cons of childcare. A free exchange of ideas and opinions which have been nowhere more freely exchanged than on various reader's forums on various online news sites, usually accompanying some learned (and sometimes not so learned) op-ed piece on the issue. And if there is one thing I've taken away from reading these articles and forums, it's that no matter what lifestyle a woman ends up choosing, she is still, in the opinion of the general public, a Cow. Only the preceding adjective will change. Let me explain:

If you have decided that you don't want to have children, you are, of course, a Selfish Cow. You care more about your career / Sex and the City-like, responsibility-free lifestyle / trim, girlish figure than providing one for Mum, one for Dad and one for the country. Your critics take ghoulish delight in predicting that you will die alone and unloved, perhaps to be found half-eaten by Alsatians, the fate so feared by the celebrated Bridget Jones.

If you have children and a career, you fall within the Greedy Cow category, because you have the temerity to think that you can “have it all” by enjoying a fulfilling career as well as enjoying motherhood. Your critics take self-righteous delight in predicting that your children will end up drug-addicted, granny-robbing petty criminals because of all those days spent playing with Lego and Tickle-me-Elmo in a childcare centre, while you were off building your fancy-pants “career”.

If you have opted to be a stay-at-home mum, you are, it seems, a Lazy Cow because all you do is “sit around” at home or in cafes – when you're not shopping or at the gym - while your partner brings home the bacon. Unless of course you're a single mum on welfare, in which case you're living off the sweat and blood of honest, hardworking taxpayers. Either way, your critics, unable to predict a dire fate for you such as those awaiting your Selfish or Greedy Cow sisters, settle for reminding you at every opportunity that you're not really contributing to society because you're not paying taxes.

See what I mean? Whatever we do, we're doomed to be pigeonholed in one of the above bovine categories. So I suggest this – whichever cow you are, be it Selfish, Greedy or Lazy – embrace it. Be proud of it. What's so bad about being a cow, when you get right down to it? After all, they're venerated in India. And any farmer will tell you that it's much better to be a cow than a bull. A cow is always useful one way or another, whereas you only need one or two bulls for breeding purposes. All the rest end up in the butcher's window or playing the starring role in a Big Mac.

Most importantly, we should embrace each other. Support each other, regardless of our choices, because, when you get right down to it, feminism is all about choices. We've all thrown the Selfish / Greedy / Lazy epithet at each other at some point, but let's stop now. Say it now, say it loud, we're cows and we're proud!

Moo.

 

Right, so here I am. Set up on Livejournal and with (potentially) thousands, millions of people (maybe) ready to read whatever pearls of wisdom I may have to offer. And do I have any to offer? Nooooooooo. Which is actually really annoying. You see, I get all sorts of inspiration during the day. All sorts of things can happen which seem very funny at the time, or annoying enough to make me really go off on one, but the time and the place just isn't right to "share", if Oprah doesn't mind  me borrowing a phrase. So that's why I thought Livejournal might be the answer.  Just make a mental note of all life's little irritations or funny bits and write them up here. Except I can't remember any right now. Oh well. At least it's ready to go if and when I do. 

Watch this space. It will get better (I hope...:P)